Sling Poet

Okay, can I write a poem once a week? Once EVERY week? Out of nothing? Can I trust my intuition? or hold onto an idea long enough to write? Will It Be Good? CAN it be good? But most importantly: Can I do it?

Location: Northwest Indiana, United States

15 January 2006

Black Mood Cycle

I watch my mood grow darker and darker
until the only thing to do is surrender
to my worst instincts and worst opinions
then I see her name on my cellphone
and despite what I've always told myself
I find myself calling back, hoping
to get a response.

I'm not sure what's going on,
whether I'm calling to her in growing despair
or she's calling the part of me that misses her;
either way the cycle goes in this way:
my mood goes into a severe free-fall
when she calls, and I try to get back
in touch with her.

So what's the proper action to take?
a final call to say "please stay away" would work
though it would probably cause a drop in mood
so severe as to truely threaten my life;
and while keeping in touch would be nice
I find it harder and harder to do
when I do try.

Maybe I've always been too conservative
for my own good. It's not like I don't know
how things are supposed to go, no;
but something's always told me
not to change with things are okay;
as you never know how changes will go
or whether they will.

Either way, something will have to happen
between me and her, and it looks
like I'm going to be the one doing it.
Both of us need a new start,
and it's a bit spooky having her call
in response to every time my mood
takes a dive.


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